New Earth Wisdom

Chapter 5: Her Last Beautiful Breath

Cyrus encountered her at dawn on a cool, windy day near the sea. He paused on a walkway by the seaside to admire her frail, delicate frame and sweet, loving smile as she tilted her head to the side. She was wearing a tan bonnet with a blue sash, a loose but tight jean dress and sandals that had tropical print on them.

She took her right toes and placed them to the left as she squeezed her hands together and tilted her head further, giving him a wink.

Cyrus began to move slowly, burling forward from his heart with tears streaming unstoppably down his face, chin, and into the wind. He cried with pride, with love, with joy and with sorrow. The depth of his tears was enormous.

He thought about the long distance he had traveled alone to see her, how each step and each night had brought him closer. Now he was here, and this this day would be so special for them both.

Sandy felt frail in his arms, and as he hugged his mother tighter he also held space for softness. He brought his hands to her face, stooped down so their eyes could meet, and said, “lead me where we will go today. I am sure you know the way”.

Sandy smiled and nodded, also crying from joy, sadness and so much more.

Sandy had taken time to pick this spot, right here by the beach she always imagined. In her sixties she drove by it with Cyrus and screamed for him to stop, explaining that it was her dream beach. From then on, they had camped out here once a year. Once a year for.. oh, twenty four years now.

This would be their last year. Both of their hearts conveyed the specialness of this last trip together.

Cyrus supported Sandy as they walked along a trail and to a meadow with chairs, blankets on the ground and a firepit right by the beach. The area was blanketed off from the wind and from perhaps onlookers, but there were none. It was as though the Earth understood that this was a sacred time.

Sandy laid on the ground and Cyrus next to her, as she gave him one last smile and began to stare off into the horizon.

Sandy didn’t think about her whole life. She didn’t decide what she had done right or wrong. In that moment, she was whole. She was with her son. She was home.

She took in one last deep breath before her soul billowed into the wind.

Cyrus held her for many hours, grateful for the time together. Grateful that the Universe had given them a good-bye. Not everyone gets a real good-bye, he thought, lovingly.

Cyrus held sadness with peace, gratitude and a sense of a completion of a life well spent. He felt suddenly like he honored the life of his Mother in his heart.

He felt a soft, warm wind behind him and a whisper of the song she used to sing… ending with.. be well, be well, be well. In the end, we all, well, end. So be well, be well, be well until the end. To him, this was sentimental, as she used to dance around and sing it loud and proud so often.

In the end.. we all… end… he thought, and the thought trailed off.

Cyrus slowly got up and took time to meditatively pick lavender, daffodils, and wild flowers she would surely love. He placed them over her heart.
Her journey had ended, and he had to place it in his heart and feel it fully as he moved on in his own journey.

“Oh, Cyrus, don’t take it so serious honey!” he heard suddenly. He looked behind him, then up, then smiled to himself as he realized he was being so serious. “It’s just life!” she would say.

As Cyrus continued to walk, he felt the imprint she left on his life. He smiled, remembering times of joy and play, and even smiling at times where they were both so frustrated they screamed. Well, he thought to himself, I guess you can laugh at everything eventually.

“Hey mama bear”, he said playfully, “could you give me a thumbs up that you’re okay up there? I know it’s a lot to ask, but—”

Suddenly, a large branch fell to his left. Cyrus walked over out of the shaded trees into a clearing of clovers dotted with purple flowers. Sandy would spend hours in the clovers, saying they made the best outdoor seat, and studying the differences between them.

Lost in memory, Cyrus realized he was suddenly sitting admist clover, soft grass and wild flowers. He laid down to look up at the clouds.

One looked like a heart. He touched his own, and felt it light up for a moment, and slowly fade as the cloud dissipated.

“Mom, what would you want…” Cyrus lazily asked a question that had no end, and for now, no answer.

But as he looked into the meadow beyond, he heard the answer in his heart: “I want you to live so joyfully, so appreciative of every moment. Each moment will pass, as do we all. But never, for a moment, does our love pass. So live for love, for joy, and even, for fun.”
His heart took in the message but he soon forgot what he was thinking about entirely and felt a sudden ease spread throughout his body.