New Earth Wisdom

Sarah sat on the cold, hard metal seat of the bus. She felt nervous, knowing it was only her second time traveling to the city on her own.

She also felt a sense of dread, knowing that her life had taken a turn: one she felt she was powerless over.

The rain thumped down on the roof of the bus and gave the city view through the window a bleak and tiresome look.

Sarah opened up her backpack and took out a water bottle. She took a large swig, knowing she had filled it with straight vodka. She was going to need to drink before she even got close to where she was going. Something felt like it eased over her a bit, and she relaxed slightly.

Soon, it was time to get off in the middle of the city and change buses. For quite awhile, Sarah forgot which way she was going, but then remembered the street and asked which bus. She was certainly not going to ask with reference to the location, which many may or may not know anyways. She wasn’t sure.

Once Sarah boarded her second bus, it wasn’t long before she could see the location. However, it would take several long red lights to arrive.

She chose this time to reminisce about how she got here. She had recovered from an illness and an addiction. She tried to make ends meet but couldn’t, so she moved far away from here, and she was happy. However, the family and boyfriend convinced her to come back, saying they would all help her. She had worked so hard at a minimum wage job while her boyfriend had two amazing jobs and lived with her. However, he wouldn’t pay her a dime. Her parents also said “too bad” in so many ways. She couldn’t afford rent that month, so a friend had taken her to a strip club. She signed up to be a waitress, thinking that the commute was insane but the tips were good, but one of the dancers and managers pressured her and told her there were no waitress jobs, and that she had the body for it. So she started to write her name on the application but her friend stopped her. “Make up a name”, he had said. She didn’t know this process. She wasn’t okay with it, but it felt like the only option.

Sarah got off the bus at the stop and took a long time to cross a very busy and rainy city street. She had made sure to arrive early so she had time to change and get drunk.

As she walked in, the smell of money, bodies, alcohol and food merged into a smell that brought her back to that sad feeling she had felt the last few times she walked in.

She went upstairs, and in the dressing room she was alone for a bit. She began to change into something sexy.

As she was naked, a girl walked in and took her clothes off. No one paid attention to whether or not you were naked here. Once Sarah and the other girl were both dressed, they went outside for a cigarette. On the back roof of the place where they had access, they huddled together with a few other girls.

Sarah had just taken up smoking, eating poorly and just about everything that was opposite of what she was doing. The cigarette felt good after the alcohol though. She went to grab for more and offered it around. One girl said she had adderall, and Sarah decided to buy some to help her stay up. She had been too drunk for the managers but they hadn’t fired her yet. Now she could be drunk and awake.

The night went by quickly with the help of the adderall and the alcohol. She collected one dollar bills off the floor after every dance. It took her longer usually because she was drunk, and the senior girls that had been there awhile would either “boo” her off stage and take her money or help her.

The senior girls had the three top spots. They were all curvy with lots of ripples and they knew how to shake their ass in a way Sarah didn’t.

This night, they let her keep her money and Sarah went home with $3,000. She had enough to make rent now. She was so relieved.

Deep down she felt a sadness creep into her.

The next day, she didn’t have to work and she didn’t know what to do. So she drank, and painted, and did usual things, but she kept drinking and drinking the whole week until work again.

A friend drove her to work as she sobbed into a bottle of vodka. Her friend reminded her that she wasn’t stuck here, and that she was acting like her parents- drinking and acting like a victim, but she could do better. She shrugged, sobbed and drank more before walking in.

That night she had to call a friend because she puked through many of her dances in the bathroom.

It wasn’t long before Sarah quit and got incredibly depressed again. Her drug and alcohol use were out of control. She had no idea where her life was going, and she felt lost.

Her friend came once again and brought psylocibin for tea, along with other helpful herbs. It was less than a micro-dose, but it brought the color back into the world for Sarah. She could now see another perspective, one she thought she had lost.

The effects lasted and she changed her whole life. She discarded the boyfriend first, then the parents who knew what she was doing and still couldn’t help. The parents that were drinking and using drugs. She then discarded nicotine, as she had quit all else.

She found a partner, moved on, and had two beautiful children. Sarah was much more suited for this reality, which she embraced whole-heartedly and truly appreciated.

She treasures this memory because she can see a miracle: the day her life shifted. It only takes one small perspective change, one small miraculous moment, or one choice.

Sarah now knows that no one is ever stuck. We just have to see things the way they actually are, which is, quite beautiful. And when you have seen the uglier side, it only makes things more beautiful.

(Editing Note: However one chooses to make a living, it is never wrong. Sarah struggled with this option while many others may find it interesting or necessary and there is no judgement. Just as some of us like some flavors of ice cream and some like others, it is to no avail if this profession works for others or does not. It is about how we choose to transform.)